1. |
incorporeal
04:23
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(nomie)
i can't breathe in this town
whispers and lies pile up
i'm buried alive
the sea heaves like a dying man
willows pass their rumors
limb by limb
i'm not here
i'm not here right now
this world is not my home
i walk alone
when i sleep
i dream of escape
i can see through myself
i can see through you
i'm see-through
(rook)
i feel like distance
i feel incorporeal
i feel like vapor
separated, unreal
i feel like distance
i feel incorporeal
all expectations concealed
i feel like distance
i feel incorporeal
i feel like vapor
separated, unreal
i feel like distance
i feel incorporeal
all expectations concealed
it doesn't stop
(it doesn't stop)
it doesn't end
(it doesn't end)
it doesn't matter where you go, you know
it doesn't stop
(it doesn't stop)
it doesn't end
(it doesn't end)
you know it doesn't matter where you go
where is home?
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2. |
let me live
03:31
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the cold
the stillness, the tension
the feeling in the room
your soul
contained and rotting
in your eyes
i know you
but did you know that
i was something other
beyond your life?
the specter of your agency
burnt in your smile
you knew it was too late for me
to reconcile
my world with the impact
and the stars that burst in my mind
i still dream of the day that we all
left you behind
is this how you dreamed it would happen?
like some kind of game
i know you thought you recognized me
but we are not the same
we are not the same
i didn't know who i was
but i knew exactly
how far i had to push you
do you know that
i am something other
beyond your life?
the specter of your agency
burnt in your smile
you knew it was too late for me
to reconcile
my world with the impact
and the stars that burst in my mind
i hope you pray your feeble
doesn't follow mine.
did you think that
i was something other
you had to destroy?
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3. |
slime brooch
03:46
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in a different life, i feel it all
but in this one, i can only try
everything's opaque
i'm somewhere else
everyone here seems to understand
but i am only guessing
i feel small and useless
and i try to smile through it
if no one sees the way i am
then that's a comfort
but everyone sees right through me
those years were more real
than i could ever hope to be
my clarity is diluted
i don't know how i arrived here
i just float away
in a different world, i'm only a girl
but in this one, i'm a puzzle box
for everyone to solve
honestly i'm not that cool
i can't even summon demons
but i guess if you squint
i'm pretty much one anyway
i'm evil in the open
and nothing worse i'm hoping
i'm slime even to myself
and that's a comfort
but everyone sees right through me
those years were more real
than i could ever hope to be
my clarity is diluted
i don't know how i arrived here
i just float away
but everyone sees right through me
those years were more real
than i could ever hope to be
my clarity is diluted
i don't know how i arrived here
i'm floating away
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4. |
azure paler than the sky
03:39
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(rook)
what a view
how are you?
anyway i'm sorry
like that's ever enough
i
i am taking advice
from an actor
who came into my life
(rook&nomie)
two on two
keep it secret
like i do
keep it in a locket
lock it up for two
keep the wolves from me and you
it's me and you
(rook)
you're so cruel to yourself
you're to cool for your health
but i'll hurt you more
it's the last thing i'll ever do
i don't know if i can keep the faith
as we lay dying
from conditions unknown
they're all that we own
(rook&nomie)
two on two
keep it secret
like i do
keep it in a locket
lock it up for two
keep the wolves from me and you
it's me and you
two on two
keep it secret
like i do
keep it in a locket
lock it up for two
keep the wolves from me and you
it's me and you
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5. |
soft atrocity
03:57
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yes!!
her name is all she has left
she keeps it close so no one
can feel her colors
in their mouth
she is a sacrifice
she is a broken dagger
its fissures shining
with her precious blood
she is the colors and pieces
of everything she couldn't have
that she pulled from her heart
with shaking hands
her eyes are so bright they can kill
her heart is dead but beating still
she is an iridescent gorgeous death
"kill me if it will make you love me
you can break me down
but i will fucking haunt you forever,"
she says
"i have never felt more alive
you wanna kill me? you can try
i know you can't get me out of your head"
make me!!
her skin decays, her body glows
she is a weapon in repose
she burns so bright
but walks so close to death
she has a name nobody knows
she holds the pieces of her soul
and carves a better life from what is left
she lives in constant fear
she wants to disappear
she tries to die but it is not enough
her twisted sense of pride
is all that keeps her alive
she hates herself
but loves her soul so much
"kill me if it will make you love me
you can break me down
but i will fucking haunt you forever,"
she says
"i have never felt more alive
you wanna kill me? you can try
you have no power, i'm already dead
you have no power over me!"
the air around her crumbles weakly
like frozen dreams
the ice in her synapses tightens
every night in her sleep
she sees the fear of herself
and everyone else
laid out clean before her
and she screams:
hate me!!
love me!!
kill me!!
let me live
break me!!
save me!!
damn me!!
keep me safe
distance!!
safety!!
make me!!
your princess~
hold me...
want me...
i'm your soft atrocity!!
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6. |
blightwork
04:02
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i can bleed as much as you want
and i know i have
but i don't have to keep on bleeding
now i know that
on the deck in the suburbs
i felt something bad
i didn't know what i was feeling back then
but it rotted so deep
through everything i had
and will i be the kind of daughter
you think you see inside of me
i'll let you think so if you want
and will i be the kind of knowledge
that kills you one day
that's up to you
i don't really remember what i want
i look inside my body and my soul is gone
i want the courage to make you hate me
honestly it's all i can think of lately
and will i be the kind of daughter
you think you see inside of me
i'll let you think so if you want
and will i be the kind of memory
that kills you one day
that's up to you
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7. |
lightning daughter
04:53
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do you remember why
do you remember
do you remember that day?
do you remember why
do you remember
do you remember that day?
if i concentrate
i can see the shape of what i mean
but i can't get it out of my mouth
so i
i watch as my body
breaks apart and melts away
i don't want to be anything
ever again
there was a moment
burnt through the fog
held and protected
by the current in the walls
floating above where i lay
incognizant
azure reflection
the crackle of the radiance
do you remember why
do you remember
do you remember that day?
do you remember why
do you remember
do you remember that day?
i see a picture
of everything i wish i was
but it flickers and dies
in my eyes and on my tongue
and i know the voltage
is visible across my skin
through the wires in my veins
there was a moment
burnt through the fog
held and protected
by the current in the walls
floating above where i lay
incognizant
azure reflection
the crackle of the radiance
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8. |
drift+disconnect
03:56
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splintered soul
shattered thoughts
forcing to the surface
who i'm not
the colors of this world
feel like a dream
overrun, subsumed
caught somewhere in-between
i can't see
we drift and disconnect ourselves
from what grows in our minds
we live within the grip
of imagined evil inside
we give in to the rot
and tell ourselves it's all we are
we try to burn away our souls
but we've come so far
careful.
wait
you don't know.
careful...
wait.
i don't belong
that word is infinite and other
i still feel wrong
i still feel pulled apart and smothered
this world is not a dream
there's no room left for anything
that eases what i know
i just want to know what i am
i've seen the ending
of all that i hold dear
over and over
i lose myself in fear
i'm so afraid that i won't
ever get out of here
i can't withstand it
i want to disappear
we drift and disconnect ourselves
from what grows in our minds
we live within the grip
of imagined evil inside
we give in to the rot
and tell ourselves it's all we are
we try to burn away our souls
but we've come so far
tell me what to be
is there such a thing as safety?
the colors of this world feel like a dream
nothing here is constant
nothing here can give us what we need
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9. |
ruin
07:08
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i hold an uncomfortable shape
a child dreaming of the day
that she will escape
i know of a secret place
and i know someday i will get there
i'll meet you on the way
i don't know what has kept me going
but i can see it
disfigured by the haunted days
it flickers in the warm confusion
a ruin of the dream
to get away
to feel safe
falling through the world
falling through the world
falling through the world
toward a better place
and though abjection self-sustains
i realize something has changed
behind the pain
and on the grass beside the lake
i realize that place is here now
i can see it in your face
and though we still feel so much pain
and there is terror in the future
we're together for today
we recognize that we are falling
and nothing slows us down
but we can keep each other safe
for now
the terror of the loss of contact
reduces me to this
but i can feel you
even though you're far away
i know a place where we can recover
it is familiar but unreal
the air is clear
there is warmth and color
we can exist
we can heal
and though it hurts beyond description
we all found each other
we've built our own secret place
through all the fog and disconnection
we let it cover us
we hold each other so we know
we've found home.
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10. |
glitter in the dark
05:03
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(rook)
so here we are again
it always feels like nothing's changed
we pretend to be so much stronger now
but it doesn't end
we're always caught just where we were
or are we?
it's so hard to tell for sure
i cry for hours before i fall asleep
i feel so trapped and weak
the air feels like poison in this town
but i'm as close to you as i can get
for now
(nomie)
we glitter in the dark
in the dark
we glitter in the dark
in the dark
we glitter in the dark
(rook)
the way things change
me&you and all that we've become
still remains
nothing's been erased
we are the sum of everything we were
the way we changed each other's lives
underneath nanaimo station skytrain tracks
we reflected and stared together at the sky
(nomie)
we glitter in the dark
in the dark
we glitter in the dark
in the dark
we glitter in the dark
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11. |
i love you i'm scared
02:48
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we are so precarious
we work so hard to hold on
we fight the distance every day
we drift apart
it feels so right and so wrong
and when we know
that things will never be
how they were before
we have to move on
but alone or together?
what do we need?
what do we really want?
now we know the hand
we know where we stand
we know how we fall apart
still, how does it feel?
what's even real
what does it mean
does it matter at all?
i loved you
i love you
i will love you
but i'm confused and afraid
i loved you
i love you
i will love you
but i'm confused and afraid
i loved you
i love you
i will love you
but i'm scared
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12. |
endless
04:13
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it doesn't matter where you go
doesn't matter where you go
it doesn't matter where you go
doesn't matter where you go
and it came for you
just like you knew it would
and it stared you down
right where you stood
it looked right through you then
and it opened your wounds
and you cried so hard
it was all you could do
and that's when you knew
and that's when you saw it
for the first time
it doesn't matter
it doesn't matter where you go
someday, together
or alone
we'll never be
who we felt so sure we'd grow to be
it doesn't end so easily
someday, together
or alone
whatever happens, we'll be there
searching for home
it doesn't matter where you go
okay,
be safe out there!
i'll see you soon.
bye!
it doesn't matter where you go
doesn't matter where you go
it doesn't matter where you go
doesn't matter where you go
it doesn't matter where you go
doesn't matter where you
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rook&nomie Los Angeles, California
@adarook666 and @_ESPer99_
header & background paint by @sloanesloane
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